A few days ago, Universal Pictures released a teaser for the first Jurassic World trailer. I know, I know. It’s more than a little geeky to get hyped up about a teaser for a trailer, but, given how little we’ve seen of Jurassic World less than a year from its release, I think some paleo nerdery is certainly called for.
So far, the feeling among dinosaur fans seems to be mixed. On the one hand, we get more dinosaurs on the big screen! Hooray! On the other, the brief glimpses of the dinosaurs we’ve received so far seem a little disappointing given how weird (and fluffy) the real animals were. Being that I wouldn’t want to judge a trailer by its teaser, though, I’ll refrain from weighing in just yet. The real reason that I’m writing this is because all the hubbub over the teaser has generated one of the best Jurassic Park memes yet – #RealJurassicParkProblems.
It all started Monday (yes, that is today) in a Twitter exchange with friends @FlyingTrilobite and @BlackMudpuppy. Rather than grouse (get it?) about the lack of plumage of Jurassic World‘s dinosaurs or other suspect science used in the franchise, the two artists started laying out problems that a real dinosaur park would encounter. After all, as Ray Arnold reminded us before his untimely death by raptor, the first Jurassic Park had “all the problems of a major theme park and a major zoo.” And best of all, other fossil fans and paleontologists jumped in on the hashtag, adding to the list of woes a real Jurassic World would have to face.
Some of the problems have to do with the dinosaurs themselves:
They’re so horny. All the time. All of them. #realJurassicParkproblems — David Orr (@anatotitan) November 24, 2014
Cloned dinosaurs lack evolutionary immunity from current zoonotic diseases; park becomes mass grave w/in 16 months #realJurassicParkproblems — Matt Baldwin (@thisbrokenwheel) November 24, 2014
Spinosaurus escapes it’s paddock, but instead of rampaging, it just sits in a pond and won’t get out. #realJurassicParkproblems
— Black Mudpuppy (@Blackmudpuppy) November 24, 2014
Microraptorines keep crashing into the viewing windows trying to catch sparrows outside. Vet bills skyrocket. #realJurassicParkProblems
— Michael Habib (@aeroevo) November 24, 2014
While others are logistics problems:
Park too far away to sustain visitor numbers, Ingen starts selling paintings made by velociraptors. #realJurassicParkproblems
— Glendon Mellow (@FlyingTrilobite) November 24, 2014
#realjurassicparkproblems Park power goes off once a day & dinos rampage as Windows security patches are automatically installed.
— skullsinthestars (@drskyskull) November 24, 2014
Post-it: Order more goats #realjurassicparkproblems
— Richard Johnston (@DrRichJohnston) November 24, 2014
Operating a major theme park can be tricky, too:
Visitors ripped to pieces, distracted by whether that fluffy toothed thing is a bird or a theropod (it’s both!) #realjurassicparkproblems — Lisa Buckley (@ShamanSciences) November 24, 2014
New documentary “Dino-Size Me” debuts due to portion sizes served in the resort. #RealJurassicParkproblems — TSV (@tattoosandbones) November 24, 2014
Not to mention that paleontologists are sure to have some issues with the park:
Scientific access to dinosaurs limited indefinitely because all are “under study” by high profile researcher #RealJurassicParkProblems — Andrew A. Farke (@AndyFarke) November 24, 2014
Paleobotanists lobby for the inclusion of the Jurassic botanical gardens. #realjurassicparkproblems
— Aly Baumgartner (@kyrietree) November 24, 2014
And, of course, we can’t forget the souvenirs:
The gift shop runs out of ‘Bort’ license plates. #realJurassicParkproblems — Brian Switek (@Laelaps) November 24, 2014